Bullies Then & Now

I recently became Facebook friends with someone who used to be a bully. He was a terror at the bus stop; nobody was safe from his demeaning comments or physical threats. I personally remember him picking out my own insecurities, namely my "buck teeth with the gigantic space in between." Yup, sometimes he'd even just call me Bucky for short. Just one utterance from him could send you reeling.

I wonder what he is like now. Is he still a jerk? Unfortunately his facebook page doesn't (or can't) reveal his current personality. Propriety prevents me from writing on his wall and demanding if he is still that same bullying creep or if he has matured into a better person.

What do you think? Are people who were bullies in middle school or younger (he moved before high school) really jerks or are they just going through an insecure phase themselves that passes?

Byatch at the gym

The post-Holiday rush at the gym has tested my limits of patience. It starts with waiting for 20 minutes to get a free locker. Then there's the 30 minute wait for a treadmill (annoying when it has a 30 min limit to begin with). Then you get to squeeze yourself into a foot radius on the mat in order to do abs and stretching.

If you go during peak hours (5-7), this is what I have come to expect. So, yesterday after waiting for the locker, the treadmill, and dodging athletes on the mat, I trudged down to locker room again, already slightly disgruntled, to find that there was a lock on my previously unlocked locker. Did I forget which locker I was using? After a check of all the lockers in the place, my heart rate picked up, and I realized that that had indeed been my locker. Where was all my stuff then? As I start exclaiming out loud, fellow locker-goers join in my distress. One woman points to a ball of stuff on the floor, shoved underneath some benches. "Is this your, eh-hem, stuff?" Phew, it was indeed! But how did it end up on the floor?

The gears began working in my head and realization struck. Someone had taken over my locker and thrown my belongings on the floor. That was the last straw.

Said person soon returns from the showers and opens said locker. I glare at the back of her head and seriously consider approaching her and giving her a piece of my mind (or a couple of blows...). Instead I talk loudly and menacingly to the closest person and reveal that "someone" (emphasis) had been really rude. I include eye gestures and eyebrow-raises in the culprit's direction. My new "friend" helps me out and also emphatically complains about the crime.

I was really fuming. I almost resorted to name-calling and pointing out her lack of clothing style...fortunately I kept that to myself, though it is a token of how pissed I was. I'm so glad she was important enough to not wait her turn for a locker.

Revelations from a straight man at Brewhaha

Yesterday I was sitting on a couch at Brewhaha, my favorite coffee shop, and reading The Tears of Artamon trilogy, when this guy sits down next to me. This was not particularly out of the ordinary as there are usually more males than females at this particular coffee shop--being in the heart of the gayborhood and next to the 12th st gym, it tends to attract this populace. For the record, I have only seen 1 or 2 straight men there in the 3 years that I've been frequenting it.

I turned to him briefly, gave him a semi-welcoming smile, then turned back to my reading.

30 minutes later he pokes me in the arm and says, "This is my favorite coffee shop in the city, but I always feel like I'm on display...it's a really disconcerting feeling." I turn, slightly confused, and finally really consider my couch companion: the baggy jeans, the t-shirt, the north face fleece...Could it be? A straight guy in Brewhaha? As he gives me a friendly/flirtatious grin, I find myself blushing and return a questioning look in reply. He explains to me that this one particular guy has been stalking the couch, walking by at least every five minutes just to give him a head to toe perusal. "I feel so dirty," he complained, "like he's undressing me right here. I didn't come here to get hit on, I just want read my article." I had to smirk at the reversal of the situation--I mean, what woman has not experienced that same feeling? He then further delighted me by realizing, "This is what women must feel like. It sucks."

I immediately exclaimed, "Yes I know! There's this guy at work who every time he sees me gives me an extremely obvious head to toe check out...it's so gross, not to mention unprofessional." He replied that it'd be one thing if he was at a club or some place where the come-ons were expected, but he just was going about his business and didn't expect/desire any attention. I revealed that this is one of the reasons I like going to Brewhaha--I don't have to worry about unwanted runins; it's safe for me. Of course he then threw up his hands and said, "I swear, my intentions are pure. I just had to get this horrible feeling off my chest!!"

Had a good chuckle about that. I felt the universe slide into balance for a couple of moments there.